


Drunksandra

by UselessLesbian3000



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Episode: s03e13 Cassandra's Revenge, F/F, Lesbian Cassandra (Disney: Tangled), Minor Cassandra/Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled), Spoilers for Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), cass is drunk, i didnt proofread this im sorry, idk how to do tags, im sorry, lesbian rapunzel, rapunzel is lesbian, this is horrible, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28804710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessLesbian3000/pseuds/UselessLesbian3000
Summary: What happens when Cass gets drunk after building her stronghold?
Relationships: Cassandra/Rapunzel (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tts twitter](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=tts+twitter).



“Then I guess you’re coming with me,” Varian stumbles back as Cassandra corners him. He watches as Cass lifts up her arm and before he can process it a rock hits him in the head and the world goes dark.

“hnghh… fbbt. Hey! Where are we?!” The alchemist says as he awakes. He quickly looks around, seeing the remains of some sort of building behind him.  
“I need that third incantation, Varian.” Cass responds, not bothering to answer his question.  
He scowls in return. “Never.”  
“I knew you’d say that,” Cass responds as she grabs his satchel. “That’s why I went through your little bag of tricks. I found something in here that might change your mind.”  
She holds a vial labeled “truth serum.” “Recognize this?” she taunts.  
“Hah. No.... Aghyesit’satruthserumofmyowndesignanditcompelsthedrinkertoansweranyquestionasked.” his face pales. “Wait.. but I never drank that.”  
“Lucky for me you sleep with your mouth open. So let me ask you, what’s the third incantation?”  
The boy struggles, but his will is overridden by the potion.  
“... Crescent high above”  
“Evolving as you go”  
“Raise what lies beneath”  
“And let the darkness grow.” he sighs in defeat.  
Cass looks up, confidence growing on her face. “Crescent high above,” she gasps at how easily the power comes.  
Varian watches as she recites the incantation. A large tower forms before his eyes, rupturing from the earth below him.  
“Home, sweet home,” Cassandra says with a sickening smile on her face. She opens the entrance and Varian has no choice but to follow.

“So, what do all of these do anyway?” Varian looks up, surprised.  
“What?”  
“Your potions or whatever. What’s in ‘em?” Cass clarifies, looking almost bored.  
“Oh, uh…” Varian falters, trying to come up with an excuse to not answer, or at least something to stall as much as possible. “... I need the bag to see!”  
She tosses the bag, making Varian wince. “Hey be careful!” he instantly regrets his choice of words when the walls flash with annoyance from Cass.  
“This one’s an aging serum, this one changes your hair color.. Ooh! This one makes you more charismatic. Sometimes- at least. It-It’s still a prototype. heh.” Cass finds herself zoning out, but a realization comes. She knew it couldn’t work… But what if it did?  
“Give me the charisma serum.” Cass interrupts his rambling. Cass was always a bit sharp around the edges, what if this was what she needed to catch Rapunzel’s attention?  
“Oh! Ummm, suuuuure..” Varian tosses the vial carelessly, trying to understand her flushed face. “It’s very strong in taste so… Be careful.”  
Cass immediately starts to gulp it down, eyes widening in surprise but finishing nonetheless. “Wow, my throat burns.”  
This was pointless, it wouldn’t do anything. Cass realizes too late.  
“It might take a while to work.” He begins to ramble but stops himself. He sits in the silence for a moment before trying to speak again. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She stiffens. Varian flinches as the walls seem to tighten.  
“Cassandra, you’re angry. I get it! Believe me, I know what it’s like. But you are making a mistake.” He trembles, but doesn’t stop.  
“Hate is dangerous, it sucks you in until you can’t escape it!” Cass walks away, disinterested but Varian follows even so.  
“Suddenly you lose your way, you lose your cool and it doesn’t stop! You lose your cool, can’t control your anger and it becomes harder and harder to excuse what you’ve done. You’ll lose your faith and soul- lose complete control of yourself and realize there’s nothing left to lose.”  
Cass paces, trying to ignore him. “He’s young and ignorant,” She convinces herself.  
Desperate to get through to the Cassandra he once knew, he pleads “Trust me Cass, becoming the villain isn’t the answer-”  
“Is that what you think I am?” Cass whips around, eyes dark with anger.  
“The path I’m on is dark but I’m taking it. I’m not looking back, Varian. Maybe it’s dark but I have a plan and it’ll one day end. My rivals will fall as my power ascends; I’m taking what’s mine.” Varian watches as she gracefully creates rock after rock, each one demonstrating her control and power as she lectures him.  
“You lost control. You lost your nerve and lost your little game but I’m not like you,” She sneers. “I’m not lost at all, I chose this fate. I chose to lose my doubts and my chains, lose every single weakness and now I have nothing left to lose.”  
“You have so, so much to hold onto!” Varian grabs her arm, stopping her from destroying one of the last remains of the tower that once stood.  
She shoves him with a rock in retaliation “I only want my rightful dues.”  
“Listen Cass you’ve lost it!” he says, bringing himself back up.  
“I refuse to lose!” Cass begins to yell, drowning him out.  
“Stop being so blind, not everything is lost it’s not too late!”  
“No, I refuse!” She repeats herself  
“Cut your losses, it’s not too late to start over!”  
“You have to choose, Cassandra!”  
“I lose no tears and lose no sleep,” she spits, knowing she’s not being truthful but unable to stop. “I take what I want, I’m in control here!”  
Two hand-like rocks grow, grasping Varian. “You can stop this,” he trembles, knowing his attempt to get through has been unsuccessful.  
Cass bends down to his cage. “You’ll stay here until this is finished. We don’t need any unnecessary harm.”  
Varian looks around for an escape, but something much worse catches his eye. The charisma serum bottle, or at least what he thought was the charisma serum. A small duck engraved on it gives him the horrifying realization: Cass drank the vial of vodka Eugene had given him as a crude present.  
“Cass, wait!” he yells, desperate.  
The only response was a glare, and his cage being pushed 30 feet out into the sky.  
Cass was already drunk with power, now she was intoxicated.  
“Oh no,” Varian whispers to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry

“Cass? It’s just me, Rapunzel.. Can you please let me in?” Rapunzel yells to the sky, wondering if Cass could even hear her.  
Eugene looks with concern “Blondie that won’t work-”  
The door opens.  
“Well shit, nevermind then,” he mutters as they step forward.  
“I think Cass is finally ready to talk to me, Eugene!” The princess beams as she begins the climb up the endless stairs.  
“Let’s hope so,” he responds, doubtfully. They continue the climb in silence.

Cass watches the pair enter her chambers from her elaborate throne. God, my head hurts. She closes her eyes for a moment before shaking it off.  
“Varian!” Rapunzel yells in horror, not noticing the look of pain on Cassandra’s face. “Varian we’ll get you!”  
“I’ll get him, you can handle Cass.” Eugene says, giving Rapunzel a quick hug before running to the cage.  
“Heyyyyyy, Raps.” Cass stumbles forward, losing balance. “Howssit hangin’?”  
Confused, Rapunzel walks towards her. “Cassandra, are you okay?”  
“I’mmmore than okay, loooook!!” Cass quickly forms a sloppy heart shaped rock, hands it to Raps,and bows. “For youuu, my lady.”  
“Oh, thank you!” Rapunzel’s cheeks flush. “Can we-”  
“Waaaiiittttt you dindnt like it??? Here, look what I can do now. Weeeeeeeeeee!!!” Cass rises on a large rock, and turns to Raps. “Your turn!”  
“Wait-” Rapunzel jumps to the side. The rock heads straight towards her instead but Cass realizes too late.  
“Raps???” She pulls the rock that has just impaled her back, horrified by the bloody mess she sees.  
Rapunzel manages only to cough up blood in response. “No, I can't lose you!” she sobs, holding her in vain.  
“Holy shit, she did it” Zhan tiri whispers as she materializes into the dimension. Knowing it was her only chance, she takes her shot.  
“Whattthe fuck???” Cass slurs as Zhan Tiri tackles her.  
“This wasn’t how it was supposed to go but it will work.” She hisses, grabbing the moonstone and pressing it into her chest. Blue light shoots out as the tower hums in response to the new holder of the moonstone.  
Cass does the only thing she can think of and runs to Rapunzel. Grabbing the sunstone, she feels a new power. “What the fuck am I doing?” She whispers.  
Zhan tiri turns around surprised to see the long golden hair coming from her former ally. Quickly, Cassandra whips her hair out, grabbing the demon by the ankles. She is quickly encased in her own rocks, unable to move.  
“wellllllsshhhit.” She says, but for the first time in her life she is happy to see the face of her enemy, Eugene Fitzherbert.  
“Bro, what the fuck?” Eugene asks as he runs in.  
“HEYYYYSHITHEAD C’MEREEEE” Cass slurs.  
“Bro, what the FUCK” Eugene looks in horror at the body of his deceased girlfriend.  
“GET THE MOONSTONE, BITCH” Cass screams.  
He wrestles the demon and successfully rips the moonstone out. Before he can say anything, the moonstone latches to his body and encases him in armor.  
“NOW LEMME OUT OF HERE ASSHATTTTT” Cass screams again, to which Eugene immediately does.  
Cassandra runs to Rapunzel and wraps her in her hair as best as she can.  
“uhhhhhhhhhh flower gleamnglowww, let yer power shine. Save what has been lost… uhhhhh… Give me a dozen mimes?” her eyebrows furrow, confused. “Howwsit go again???”  
“BRING BACK WHAT ONCE WAS MINE, STUPID” Varian yells from his cage.  
“OH YEAH THANKS KIDDDDD” she yells back.  
“Flower gleam and glow”  
“Let your power shine”  
“Save what has been lost”  
“Bring back what once was mine”  
“Did it work?” Cass whispers. Unsure, she does the only thing she knows: be gay  
“BRO WHAT THE FUCK” Rapunzel hears Eugene yell as she awakes to her former lady in waiting kissing her.  
“holy shit.” the princess says.  
“oh iiim sorryyyyyy i was justscareddd” Cass slurs.  
“Cass, I-”  
“Here this is yours i think hehe” Cass laughs as she pulls off the sunstone and presses it into Raps. She quickly turns to a speechless Eugene and snatches the moonstone. “This is mine, bich”  
“Cass-”  
“Nooooooooooo itz okie dokie dont say anyythingggg”  
Rapunzel cuts her off with a kiss.  
“Holy shit I’m lesbian” Rapunzel says  
Eugene takes a step back “Bro what the fuck” he says, tears forming, seemingly unable to say any other phrase.

the end :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres the original lol:
> 
> varian spikes a potion with vodka or smth during cassandras revenge so when raps gets to the tower cassandra is drunk  
> cass, while drunk, is like "raps look!" and fucking kills her  
> so then like cass freaks out  
> and then zhan tiri is like "wait the bitch actually did it :0"  
> so cass is sitting there drunk sobbing  
> and zhan tiri quickly takes the moonstone from cass while shes weak  
> and cass quickly reacts by taking the sunstone from rapunzels dead body  
> cass gets long rapunzel hair and tries to tie zhan tiri up in it  
> but while doing so zhan tiri traps her in some black rocks  
> so then theyre sitting there like "..."  
> and eugene finally makes it up and is like "bro wtf"  
> so then he sees raps is dead and is like "BRO WTF"  
> Cass has Eugene and Varian take the moonstone from Zhan Tiri and we now have moon eugene  
> so then they let cass out of the cage  
> and cass heals raps  
> but like, shes drunk and forgets the lyrics so it doesnt work  
> so she has to consult varian about how it goes  
> Then she finally heals raps  
> but raps isnt healthy enough so Eugene gives her the moonstone  
> so now we has sundrop cass and moonstone raps  
> so cass, relieved and still drunk, kisses rapunzel  
> and then raps is like "holy shit im lesbian"  
> eugene is like "BRO W T F"  
> the end

**Author's Note:**

> its about to go so far downhill lol


End file.
